Sunday, September 12, 2010

Tale of the Darling Salon

These two are just darling, not part of the actual post.

I need to preface this post by stating for the record that I am NOT a high-maintenance woman. I do not indulge in pedicures often--three times in my entire life, to be exact. I also must state that I am not racist. The people who worked in this salon happened to be Asian, and that adds to the humor of the story. Thank you.

Friday afternoon I decided I needed a little time to myself. So I went to the local Circle K, got myself a 32-ounce Diet Pepsi with just the right amount of crushed ice, then I headed to the nearest nail salon. I'm not real expert on these things or these places, but The Darling Salon looked fine, so in I went.

Wow. It was fabulous. The chair was a massage chair. The water was hot, hot, hot, just like I like it. No one else was there, so there was no stinky acrylic-nail cloud to hamper my experience. I set my phone and my soda on the left side table, left the chair controls on the right (AHHHHH!), and began reading my book.

About five minutes into the experience, my phone buzzed. I had been texting Brad about our plans for the night, so I reached over to answer it, knowing a spa pedi was no excuse to blow off my beloved. As I reached for the phone, I knocked over the remaining 30 ounces of soda, catching the cup by the inverted bottom. But I was too late. And I was too humiliated. The salon employees all began scampering around, getting the mop bucket full, extricating the mop from a brimming closet, all the while addressing each other in sharp tones I didn't understand. Don't think I needed to understand--I'm sure it was along the lines of: "Stupid woman. So much more work for us. I hate Circle K."

As they were mopping up the damage, the lady doing my feet said, in broken English: "No problem. Broken bottle of polish would be much worse. No worry." This made sense to me, and even though I was embarrassed, it wasn't polish, right?

I was probably about halfway done when the phone buzzed again. And what did I do? I knocked that STUPID CUP over again. And there were 3 leftover ounces clinging to the cup. By now I was beyond humiliated. I had purposely left all this commotion at home, right? What a clumsy fool. I apologized again and again. This time the nail tech wasn't quite as kind. She was able to erase the issue with a single cloth this time, but it didn't erase my embarrassment.

She moved the now-completely-empty cup to the top of the trash can, sat back down at my feet, and stated flatly, pointing to my right, "Next time, phone go over there."

I handed my credit card to the tech as I was leaving, and she asked, "Any extra?" And that, my friends, is how The Darling Salon spent fifty cents extra on mop water and reaped five extra dollars.



  1. Great story! I haven't known you to have so much pampering. Good for you! The "Darling" was certainly NOT the salon. It was Hyrum and Evie, for sure.

  2. Hey Darling Nails has a great hot rock massage when you get the pedicure.

    Your littles ARE darling!

  3. So sad that your alone time turned out to be stressful. That's no good when you needed some peace and quiet. I know I should have been feeling bad for the workers cleaning up the mess, but all I could think about was how you needed a new Diet Pepsi! (Dr. Pepper in my case)

  4. That was similar to our night out with our son David for his birthday dinner at Ted's. It was a series of disasters that sterted out comical and by the end of the night no one laughing anymore and we just wanted to go home and forget about it.
    Sorry your pedi was a bad experience. I don't mind if my husband gives me a foot massage now and then, but I don't like strangers touching my feet.

  5. WOOOOPS!! In our house, that would have gotten a MOO! Don't ask, it's just what we say when people do spastic things.

    But seriously, I would have been so embarrassed too.

    On the upside, I'm SO happy for you for getting a pedi. I seriously can't live without them. mostly because I suck at doing my own toes, and my feet just NEED to be cleaned up by the professionals.

    Hope you had fun on friday night, to make up for the foot follies.

  6. haha! i was waiting to hear how the phone rang again, and this time a bottle of polish was sent crashing to the floor or your phone fell into the foot bath. =)
    no worries. life happens.

  7. The worst part is that you lost your 32 once diet pepsi! I have one everyday. Totally addicted.

  8. I only hope you stopped on your way home to get another soda!

  9. Sounds like something I would do.

  10. Such a funny story. I always wonder what they are saying about me when I pull a stunt like that! It never fails!

  11. I'm glad to hear that I am not the only that does stuff like that!!

    That was one expensive diet pepsi :)

    Sorry your time away wasn't more relaxing!

  12. Hahahaha, oh Jen!! That sounds like something I would do. At least the Pepsi didn't go in the spa water, right??

  13. Bummer- I hate when I get so clumsy that I cause a huge kerfuffle.

    I always wished I could understand what the nail techs were saying- I always imagine that it's something to the effect of "she's a giant, and has giant feet to hold her up" or something to that effect.

    I always seemed to have the tiniest little four foot nothing person trying to do something with my near six feet tall self.

  14. Yes, but are you darling?

  15. I have to say it... that was a darling story! hahahahhha! I do things like that ALL of the time! HILARIOUS!!!
    Have a pretty day!

  16. That is so funny. If they had any compassion they would have known that your embarrassment was payment enough. Smiles.

  17. Well THAT wasn't very relaxing! But I loved the story - it's something that I would do.

  18. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooo

    hahaahahahaha so ur relaxation goes from awwwwwww to eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!

    sorry friend, but do your toes look great? and stupid for the extra charge ..hello...part of doing business w/ya!

  19. Tisk tisk, it wouldn't have happened if you had been drinking Diet Coke ya know.
    Just a good excuse to go another time - to a different place of course.

  20. Ohhhh I was feeling for you. This would be the kind of thing that would happen to me. In fact you reminded me of a nail story I had forgotten about which I should blog about.
    But, how do your nails look?

  21. Oh, dang! That is as good a story as the havoc you caused in my silly dream, last night. I'll have to tell you, sometime :) Have a great day!

  22. I love how you tell your stories! I cannot believe they actually asked for extra! How brazen! Darling Salon does not sound so darling. Sometimes I think it is best that I cannot understand what the techs are saying... ignorance CAN be bliss!

    ~ Tracy

  23. I laughed, hard! Almost choked on my diet coke hard! (it was a full out snort...that's all, no coke through my nose!) However, my hubby pointed out that had I spewed diet coke out my nose it could not have been more ironic! :)

    This experience is exactly why I like to paint my lil piggies at home. :)