Monday, January 3, 2011

The Required New Year's Resolution Post

  image courtesy of The London Daily Telegraph

I have been stewing and thinking and wondering and pondering for the last few weeks about what my "New Year's Resolution" should be. I see all the things I wish I was:

fit like Brittany
poetic like Sue and Momza
popular like cjane
beloved like Nie
funny like Allyson and Laraine
immaculate like Sarah
creative like Julie

fashionably dressed like Andrea
photographically skilled like Dana
involved at school like Karen
musically exposed like Anna
great cook like Pam
public speaker like Shawni
world traveler like Jen and Paige
. . . and even more.

First, let me say this about myself:
 I am rarely one who dwells on my shortcomings and compares myself to others.  When I see someone excelling at something, I usually think, "I could do that if I put a little time into it."  Usually, I'm right.  I'm not the best at most things, but I am passably good at many things.  Not vanity.  Just trying to be honest.  And to avoid comments that I'm being hard on myself,  I'm not.  I'm pretty realistic. In fact, I think I let myself off too easily most of the time--I frequently let some character flaw annoy me for an hour or a day, then it gets shoved back down in my psyche, hidden below all the laundry in my life.

I want to make a real change this year.  Something tangible.  Something measurable. I want something that will be easy to remember all the time, not a long, involved, highly detailed list of my shortcomings. I know I focus too little on people and too much on projects--my daily to-do list. How do I change who I inherently am and become someone . . . different? Someone better?

I've tried to find a word or catchy phrase to fill this need.  Can't seem to wrap my brain around it. I've made lists and read articles.  Can't seem to put my finger on it.

What is it?  What is it that my soul is screaming out to be?

I want to change the world.


I want to be a person that others look to and say, "She changed my life.  She made me a better person.  She sparked some flame inside me and changed me."

I want to be the mother that warrants eulogies of appreciation.
I want to be the wife that inspires poems of adoration.
I want to be the friend that lifts and changes.
I want to be the person that . . .

Stop.
Sounds like a load of crap.  It's true.  I want to be that person for my family.  For my friends.  For my readers. For people I see at Target.

As far as I can evaluate it, it all comes back to TIME.  How I spend my time.  Where I squander it. Not time in a Wal-Mart watch "What time is it?" kind of way but in a Big Ben, time-on-earth kind of way. I want to invest these precious seconds of my days doing the things that are truly important.  Those things that will make me better: change my very inner self--my soul.

So, after stewing and thinking and wondering and pondering and now prattling away, I still have no real concrete, measurable goal.  But I am allotting myself until Thursday to come up with the solution.

The Resolution.

Stay tuned.
blog

20 comments:

  1. Jen, I am in thinking mode, too. Trying to find a word & I am def. finding a few goals for 2011. I started this year by writing down what I did well in 2010. Talked it over with hubby & he pointed out a few things that I forgot about. I really had a great 2010 & would like to keep improving in 2011. I love the new photos & the new blog header. Would love it if we were neighbors & you could pop over & design one for me! hugs, Cathy (i will check back on Friday!)

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  2. I'm just going to try to keep moving forward in 2011.....but I'll stay tuned for your resolution.

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  3. I think you're great at many things! Looking forward to Thursday's post!

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  4. I sure hope that it's not required to do a New Year's resolution post! Because I'm not. :)

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  5. If dad writes you a poem of adoration, I would pay good money to read it. Just sayin'.

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  6. No big resolutions this year for me. I did start a cleanse and I have a BIG TO DO list for the year...I was just reading somewhere that maybe we should call them "possibilities" instead of resolutions..that way we're not setting ourselves up for failure!

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  7. Well, first of all, Thank you for putting me in the same category with Sue. I love her guts.
    And Secondly, I can't make resolutions, because I forget 'em,
    but I am making PLANS this year!
    Oh yes, BIG Honkin' Plans for an AWESOME 2011!
    Most of which begin with the idea:
    "Will this matter in a year?"

    I'll let ya know how it goes.
    P.S. LOVE the new pics of your crew!

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  8. Boy, now I can't wait to read the sequel to this very interesting post!

    (And thanks for the poetic mention for Momza and me, by the way.)

    =)

    PS. Tucker is amusing...

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  9. Hello Jen,

    Love the new header! I typically do not make New Year's resolutions but I actually made a few this year. I cannot wait to see what you post on Thursday!

    ~ Tracy

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  10. Hello Jen,

    Love the new header! I typically do not make New Year's resolutions but I actually made a few this year. I cannot wait to see what you post on Thursday!

    ~ Tracy

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  11. Thanks for lots of good new blogs to check out! Your own resolutions can be checked off as "great Mom"...done! Forget the rest...you do THE most important!!!

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  12. I disagree-I think you are hard on yourself, your own worst critic! I could list at least as many "I'd like to be ______ like Jenny" as you have listed above.

    I don't do resolutions, I find they get lost in my brain over time. I just try to focus my life where it needs it most. I think I've got my 2011 one figured out, it's still stewing a bit.

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  13. Well, I am anxious for Thursday. That resolution should be good.

    I think you are awesome and wouldn't want you to be like the others.
    You are the best there is!

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  14. oh all those things that you listed are so on the tip of my tongue, my heart as well. And I don't know what the word is either. I too have read books and blogs and articles and read and read and thought and thought about what it is I'm searching for. And I can't find a singular "thing" that it is either. I just know that it's gotta start somewhere and hopefully eventually will find that one "thing" we want to be, change into, become...this year as you saw, I started with buying less and giving more. We'll see where it takes me. I can't wait to see what you come up with. If it's the one "thing" i've been looking for, can I steal it? :) Oh and p.s., thanks for the shout out.

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  15. I've always wanted to be the thing that inspires everyone around me to be great. I have such great plans and great ideas and then... I get sidetracked. Or i need a nap. So hard to stay focused on my goal of being amazing to one and all. I actually think you ARE quite inspirational, as well as organized and focused. And you have a funny son. I'm anxious to hear your big resolution. Maybe it's one I can borrow because thinking of my own just makes me alternately tired and hungry. Just sayin.'

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  16. I don't particularly believe in New Year's Resolutions myself since people tend to break them before the year is over. However, your search for one made me think about Ali Edward's One Little Word. On her blog, she chooses one word for the year. She then lives her life around this word, letting it speak her her and become a part of who she is for that year. This year, her one word is "Light." I thought that concept is quite interesting, especially since it's open to interpretation how you use that word in this one year of your life. Maybe you should give that a try and see where it takes you. You never know, life is full of surprises and you might discover something new :)

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  17. Love it Jen!!
    Time...such a big thing over here too. I so need to learn to use it "better"!
    Can't wait till Thursday!
    Enjoy the day

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  18. um, popular? You have 201 followers, my friend. I think I've got 18. You win!

    ;)

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  19. P.s. I just noticed that one of the comments came from your son, so I clicked on his profile, as any good blogger does, and started reading his blog. Well, I just spent the last 15 minutes reading some of his entries. Loved the friendship bread post...you've got yourself a good son there Jen :)

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