Monday, March 28, 2011

Today Was the Day

Today was the day I promised myself I would get up early.
Today was the day I knew I would exercise.
Today was the day I swore I wouldn't eat my weight in carbs or drink too much Diet
Today was the day I vowed to straighten the entire house and keep it that way.
Today was the day I pledged not to raise my voice, no matter what was spilled on the carpet or what was found in the toilet.
Today was the day I would discover deep doctrinal truth as I delved into the story of Mormon.
Today was the day I promised to see myself as my Father in Heaven sees me: trying and sometimes succeeding, not as I see myself: trying yet falling again.

Today was not that day.
I slept in--all the way to 6:25.
I made no time to exercise.
I ate two ENTIRE batches of popcorn (extra butter, mind you) for lunch, washed down with a little too much of the nutrasweet stuff.
I hosted Hyrum's party; the mess from 8 four-year-olds and a pinata probably doesn't require a description.
I began the day impatient and grumpy, and my tone of voice followed suit.
I squandered time, dilly-dallied every chance I got, neglected my necessary study and preparation time.
I saw myself as a failure. Epic failure.

When will it be that day?
 It will be that day when I can see the day as it really was:

A day that I needed extra sleep.
A day when exercise was not a formal experience, but time spent sorting, lifting, changing, moving, and folding 9 loads of laundry.
A day that insisted on two batches of popcorn, including all the butter, to satiate my carb craving during this rocky time of the month.
A day that demanded the mess from 8 four-year-olds and a smashed pinata--because this day only comes once a year for my Hyrum.
A day that could have done without the impatience and yelling. Carpets can be cleaned and ten-year-olds aren't sassy every time they speak. A day that begs for repentance and seeks forgiveness.
A day that isn't over yet, and the scriptures are still sitting on my desk.

A day that spilled with warm (not scalding) sunshine, belly laughs, chocolate frosting, and fresh laundry.

And I know my Heavenly Father loves me.  Faults and all.  Why do I beat myself up about days like this, when He doesn't?

Here's to tomorrow. And a change in perspective.



  1. Sounds like Hyrum's birthday was a great success for both of you. He sounded so darling on the phone.


  2. "Why do I beat myself up about days like this, when He doesn't?"

    i should think of this every time i beat myself up for "wasting" a day.

    thanks for the perspective.

  3. Yep, we all have those days. And if we're lucky, we're able to process them as well as you have here.

    And to remember, as you have, how much we are loved.


  4. You're not alone in how you feel. And I'm quite sure it wasn't nearly as bad as you feel it was. You're amazing. Purely and simply amazing. And WAAAAY to hard on yourself. You are my friend, so stop it. Now. You're welcome.
    I can't look at Hyrum's huge smile without thinking you did many many things right today.

  5. I love all of this. We are so hard on ourselves and are so critical. We all have those days but glad at the end there you were able to turn it around and see the day for what it really was and what it had to offer, faults and all.

  6. :::Applause:::
    Ya done good, Missy!
    "It is the effort, not the achievement that makes us perfect."~Joseph Smith

    Let that soak into ya!

  7. Trust me Jen, you are so NOT alone!

  8. Love you, LOVE this post! Oh, and I miss you too!

  9. Seeing ourselves the way our Father does sounds truly heavenly!!
    Glad you found the real beauty in your "Day" yesterday.
    Have a happy day

  10. Well you didn't forget the most important thing...Hyrum. There is only one perfect one, God. He loves us warts and all!~Ames

  11. Grandma -

    I'm glad you had a good phone conversation with Hy! When Sam and I called he told us what presents he got, that he ate ice cream, and that he was 4. Then he immediately asked, "Wanna talk to Micah?" When I told him we wanted to talk to him because it was his birthday, he said, "But I don't want to talk to you anymore!!!" I guess we were interrupting his "play with the new presents" time. :)

  12. Great post Jen...and a great reminder to me. We're so hard on ourselves. I'm so glad you were able to get some perspective on your beautiful day before it was over. Super cute picture of Hyrum and his ballons! That's a keeper!

  13. "And I know my Heavenly Father loves me. Faults and all. Why do I beat myself up about days like this, when He doesn't?"

    My favorite quote of the week.

    Love your picture of Hyrum-he's so stinking cute!

  14. What a great day! You played with your kids- and they know you love them (even if your volume button gets stuck on loud as Emma says to me).

    You got INSANE amounts of laundry done- in one day! And hooray for buttery popcorn on those hormonally challenging days- it's way better than booze or unnecessary prozac.

    You rock Jen!

  15. wow beautifully put! i had a moment like that today when oldest child calls from his cell to tell me he left his french project on the counter. school is far from home and the last thing i wanted to do was drive that distance in the rain w/a 2 yr old and a newbie....i was reminded of all the time the Father has given me grace when i failed! haha....oldest child still owes me big time!!!! :o)

    loved this post

  16. for the past two night i have cried for half an hour after putting the kids in bed. "it was his idea to potty train! he did it for two days! poo and all! nights and naps, no leaks. what kid does that!?" and then he decided he didn't want to anymore, so he held his pee for 15 hours in definace. i figured he would just get over it. he did not. so after three days of him holding his pee for 15 hours straight, i am waving the white flag, and have finally convinced him that diapers are cool again. sigh. i think i just wrote my next blog post. thanks:)

  17. I loved this post. I wish I could see more of my days like He does. I might be a little more satisfied with what I have offered that day.