Thursday, July 21, 2011

And Then There Were None

I know it's summer.
I know we're all busy.
But I fear I must address an important issue.

Have some of your blogging friends disappeared?  Just up and deserted their keyboards?

I have a few (three or four I could name but want to avoid incrimination) blogging friends that I felt I had developed friendships with over the course of . . . a year?  And suddenly,



The hardest part of this blogging adventure is this:  When people decide to be done blogging, you can never find them again.  It's not like your friend who lives across town.  You know where she lives, and you can call or drop by to reignite that friendship. When blogging friends move on, all they leave behind is an unused URL in your reader, one that you hope will pop up with something new.  And then a month, then two months, then . . . four pass by with nothing.

It's strange how you can develop these strong bonds over the internet--you know their favorite foods, what color paint they used in their bedroom, the names of their kids.  You know which friend can be counted on for wisdom, which for humor, and which for a soft place to just hang out.  And then . . . gone without so much as a "thanks for everything"?

What would it matter if I mentioned them by name?  They aren't in the blogosphere any more anyway, right?

Maybe if I mention them by name, they may feel guilty and comment on today's post. 

Nope.  I shall refrain. Discretion is the better part of valor, right?

N, P, J, K--miss you, ladies.

And I promise here, today:  I will never just disappear.  If I leave this corner of cyberspace, there will be an enormous going-away bash.  Gifts.  Food.  The works. 
Bank on it.

And for those of you who visit and comment and share with me:  Thanks.  I value your time and comments.  Really.  Just don't disappear on me without at least a "good-bye," K?

Linking up to Jenny Matlock's N Alphabe-Thursday
Jenny Matlock


  1. You're so right. There's a blogger in England with whom I corresponded and she's dropped off the radar. This happened once before and it was due to a terrible loss - so when it happens again I worry, but with no way to connect to find out the truth.

  2. Do you think perhaps they are still reading but just don't comment anymore?

  3. What a thought-provoking post! I've had it happen to me and I'm sure I'm guilty of it too. For me its hard to keep up with everyone so I'm a bit of a random commenter.

  4. It is interesting to go back and see some of the people that I've been blogging with over the last 3 years. I wonder where some have them have gone.
    Hope all is OK with your blogger friends.

    Maybe they check out to be able to enjoy the summer.

  5. True thing! I blame Facebook. I have so enjoyed reading your posts and getting to "know" your family! Keep it up! I know I will be thankful for everything I have writen down on my blog even if I have like 2 readers, it's really the 5 little readers in my own house that I am writting for anyway!

  6. I think it's just that so many people seem to be going thru so much right now. At least that's what's going on in my neck of the woods. And then, once the kids are home from school, sometimes finding even ten minutes of time alone to sit at the computer is tough. If I see that a blogging friend hasn't posted in a while I send them a quick note to see if everything is okay. Thankfully, I've usually received a response back pretty quickly. It does make you worry about them sometimes though, for sure.

    ~ Wendy

  7. It is amazing how we get connected to each other blogging. I hope you find them. Maybe someone can find them on facebook for you.

  8. The friendships formed online are so real. Sometimes I think more real than face to face relationships. Online we can let our true selves out.

  9. I have blogging friends that have just reappeared. It was hard to not to see them.

  10. For your closess blogging friends, you may want to consider getting email addresses so you can keep in touch that way should someone fall off the radar. Life just happens sometimes and you're left scratching your head. Maybe, they'll come around someday.

    Check out my recent post….
    N is for Naughty or Nice

    Visitng from Alphabe-Thursday/T2Q hop…
    Cathy Kennedy, Children's Author
    The Tale of Ole Green Eyes

  11. I'm glad I read this today. I've been guilty of being one of the ones who disappeared for a while. Life showed up and I had to put my blog on the back burner for a couple of months. It was heartwarming to come back and be remembered by some of my followers. They never left! Your post today reminded me that we are all part of something special!

  12. I miss N, too. And a few others who have disappeared.

    Following your example, I hereby vow that if I ever close down Sue's News, Views, etc. that I will throw a big farewell party.

    (Doesn't seem likely, though. I think I may be a blogger for life.)


  13. I often wonder if I just closed the door to my lil blog if anyone would even notice. Everyone is so busy livin' and breathin', it helps me to remember when the comments are low that maybe come the end of summer, my bloggin' pals will be back...and also that I blog for Me and my Yahoos first and foremost. And I always read yours, even if I don't comment. Just know that.

  14. I am honestly not sure how I stumbled across your blog… But I love it.!! I am glad you write and love the things you write about!! Thank you so much

  15. Yeah, hate when that happens. At least I have e-mail addresses for those I feel closest too. But still, it does feel like a loss.

  16. Oh, you gave me a chuckle, Jen!

    It's true that blogosphere has some unique challeges!

    Maybe we should start a pact...if you leave the blogosphere you have to let us all know!

  17. Yes - many of my blog friends have left their blogs and went over to the darkside (Facebook) hee hee.
    It is very hard when friends leave and sad too.
    I believe blogging is more worthwhile in the longrun but a less instant gratification. You have to be doing it for you own reasons.

  18. Man there was alot of typo's in my comment - sorry - I really can spell.

  19. Yes, they disappear. I think some people just put too much time into developing their blogs and trying to accumulate as many followers as possible, running contests, etc., and then just like that they become overwhelmed with the time commitment and disappear. I've had some blogs I really enjoyed just vanish. I wish they'd just cut back and post once in a while instead of never. Sometimes they'll come on and announce their leaving...other times there's nothing.

  20. a few of my favorite bloggers aren't blogging anymore, or they've gone on to do different blogs, and i miss the quirk of their old ones. and then there are some bloggy friends i'd made that sort of disengage for whatever reason. that makes me sad, too.

  21. Sad to say, but common courtesy doesn't exist anymore. Sometimes, it's not easy to comment on a post when you just don't know what to say.

    Thanks all the same for sharing.

  22. That's really sad. I've only been blogging for 5 months and have yet to experience disappearing bloggy friends. But it's so true what you said - that when they decide to stop blogging, there's just no way of contacting them anymore and the relationship you've built with them vanishes along. Sad.

  23. so true! so true! It's not just that some people stop writing on their blogs, some delete them! Well, one person did. She deleted her first blog entirely, started a new one (which included a book club participation), then deleted that one. Where is she now? Is she OK?
    Isn't it amazing how you can forge friendships with people you've never met face to face?! care about their lives, their interests.

  24. You took the words right out of my mouth. The one blogger that started my interest in blogging has just disappeared. She was gone for almost a year, came back for 3 posts and then disappeared again. I really miss her too. One can only hope things are going well for all those awol blogging friends.~Ames

  25. Really lost I have 3 they just disappeared from Internet and as you say it's rather sad.
    3 don't blog anymore but I get emails from time to time so I have some news.
    It's strange although we have never seen each other through writing we became real virtual friends.

  26. Hmmm.. I may be one of the ones dropping off the radar for the Summer? I feel so lonely and disconnected from my friends in blogland...and even here in my town. It's been a super weird busy Summer. I put way too much on my plate, and have been trying desperately to be present when my kiddos are up. Add 8 kids that I tutor to an already busy life, and it's been too busy. I'm catching up in bits and pieces, and was horrified to read of Micah's mishap this a.m. How is he doing?? I miss you!!

  27. I agree with you. There are those whose blogs I would regularly visit and correspond with via comments...and they have the same post up for if life just suddenly stood still for them.
    It is a strange blogging/fleeting world. I'm not going anywhere...I may do less from time to time, but I get too much joy to cut it out of my life.
    Plus, I gotta know what happens next....

  28. I do know what you mean! It makes me wonder if they up and died or if they are just busy or what other catastrophic event might have happened.


  29. I wonder if they even know how much they are missed .... it's interesting the intensity of relationships that are created because we see a bloggers world so intensely, but I guess I never thought that I might matter back to them ... if that makes sense?

  30. I would so miss you if you left!!! Snarky belle. That's who left me and I still miss her!!!

  31. I've been on the internet for so long that I've made and lost a lot of friends now. I hope yours come back soon.

  32. I the P? So sorry if I am! I barely have time to post my own blog lately...The rule in the house is no screens during the day...for the kids and me. By the time I get on at night..I'm beat. I haven't been visiting/commenting on many blogs lately. Hope you're having a good summer!! :)

  33. Oh, this is so very true. I miss P too and I do hope that she's doing well.

    I've been blogging for a very long time and I've seen so many people come and go that it's really hard and a bit discouraging to want to keep on going myself. I totally understand that the physical parts of our world must come first and that sometimes it's just easier to cut back on the virtual parts of our life to make room for new challenges. But like you said, sometimes I wish there was a quick goodbye or just a message to let us know that everything is good and that they've decided they need to move on to new challenges.

    I won't be going anywhere anytime soon :) I've spent so many years writing on my blog that it feels a little strange to not have it be a part of my life anymore. Plus, I've developed a sense of kinship to so many people who I've visited and have visited me that I can't imagine leaving without a goodbye. So when the time comes for me to stop, I'll definitely let you know :)

  34. But I'm still here.

  35. I think we should all make a vow that we will at least say goodbye when we're done!

    Friendships made in blogland are real friendships and it does hurt to just be abandoned.

    I always worry and fret and think something terrible has happened.

    I appreciate and admire the bloggers that say "I'm overwhelmed and I need a break!" or something like that!

    Thanks for this thoughtful post!

    I hope your missing blog friends turn up soon!


  36. It is a strange thing in blogland to have friends just drop from site. I would be so sad to have you "poof" disappear.