Thursday, January 31, 2013

And Now For a Small Shot of Reality Juice

My post from yesterday--so cheery and upbeat and happy and positive.

Tonight? Yeah.  Tonight.

Brad is in Idaho with Heidi's family, so the kids were alone for the night while I went to class. I came home to a messy house, kids watching TV, nothing done, and what did I do?  Did I sit and think and purposely act like I have tried to do for the past 31 days?

You'd be wrong if you said yes.

Wow. Did I lose it. And I'm not very proud of it, either.

Thirty minutes later, now that I've had a little time to cool off and the kids are in bed, I can see how I wish I'd reacted.

The three little kids were all in jammies and in bed, just like I'd asked. Why didn't I point that out to Lily?  Ben had just gotten home from rugby practice, so how could he have done his work yet?

Why didn't I just . . . 

Sometimes, being the mom is hard.  It's hard, because you're supposed to be the one that teaches everyone else how to behave.  It's hard, because sometimes you just don't behave that way, and your kids see it.  And you hurt their feelings.

Nothing ever gets better because you're angry.  No work gets done faster because you're yelling. No one goes to bed happy and cozy because you ordered them to their rooms.

The irony of it all?

This is the quote I wrote on our chalk board just yesterday.
Sometimes you just suck at being the parent.  Sometimes.  The key is to minimize the number of times you suck at it.  Right?

I wonder what time Dunkin Donuts opens--and if their forgiveness can be bought with a few maple long johns.

I'm going to bed now. 


  1. The treats and some hugs and a 'Mummy is human and makes mistakes. Last night was one and I'm sorry' will work magic. They're your kids - right? You have taught them about reality - and tolerance - and forgiveness - and love.

  2. Donuts work wonders. I had a few moments of anger with my own kids this morning...and then sent them off to school. :( Maybe I should visit Dunkin Donuts before they come home!

  3. hi there, i've been a quiet follower. thanks for keeping it real. i had my own difficult mommy day yesterday and this post is just what i needed to read this morning. my kids are young adults, so our learning as parents never really ends. from what i've read here, you are a loving & excellent mom. being the mom IS a tough job and we DO make mistakes & it's ok cuz we're not perfect. thanks for the proverbs quote. and i think pondside's comment was great too!

  4. i'm guilty too....esp those times when I assumed they should be reading my mind about things I need done and i react before thinking. deep sigh. thank goodness i bake good cookies or my kids might throw me out with the bath water!

  5. The great thing I've always noticed about kids is that they are willing to take a sincere apology every time...

    Of course, the maple bars won't hurt!


  6. Oh Jen, this post just makes me love you more. Not for yelling, or losing it, but because you're human girl. I've had more of "those moments" than I wish I have had, but children/families are forgiving. Not only do they forgive you for yelling, but you forgive them too.
    I'd take them for a milk shake.

  7. I know your kids and donuts. I think everything will be fine.

  8. So "been there, done that" too.
    Messes make me cranky. Bribery goes a long way towards forgiveness. Hang in there.

  9. Oh man. Been there. I am so sorry. Especially for the ironic quote written by your hand. ouch.

    Donuts heal deep wounds.

  10. We both had temper meltdowns this week, so I was glad to see I was in good company. I'm ALWAYS sorry afterwards, and can usually see a better path I could have chosen. Live and learn. That's what we're here for, right? I know you could buy MY love with some maple bars. But wait... I'm not eating carbs, dang it, and just reading about maple bars made me slobbery. You're a great mom so put your feet up tonight and treat yourself well.

  11. Oh Jen...hope u had a better weekend! Thanks for your honesty it makes all of us feel better when we lose it:)