Friday, August 21, 2015

46--What's Ahead?

Aside from the other maladies of age not mentioned yesterday--more leg veins, thinner and grayer hair on my head, more trips into a room where I forget what I needed, less bladder control, more fabric required in my pants, less stretch in my ligaments--my body treats me very well. I'm grateful and happy, and trying to be content with what my life gives me.

Birthday and New Year's Day are big goal days for me. Many eating/journaling/exercising/cooking/cleaning changes have been implemented on 1/1 and 8/21.

Summer seems to get me off track every year, and I realized, as I reread my birthday post from last year, that I was in a very similar frame of mind 365 days ago. Did much change for me this year? Got my degree. That was huge. And now, I feel a little lost and a little empty and a little purposeless. I'm trying to find my footing in this "no kids at home all day" stage of life, and it's strange and unfamiliar. 

I'm trying to decide if I want to continue my studies--my mind often drifts to a study I would like to complete, but it would involve hours and hours and years and years of work and statistics and interviews and dedication. Is that where I want to go? Right now, I think so. The biggest hurdle in my way is passing the math section of the GRE. I haven't taken math since 1986 (that is not a typo, people), and I had to hire a tutor to remind me about x/y functions and geometry theorems. If I can get an acceptable grade on that test. If I can get the letters of recommendation. And can I get MPS to partner with me in a study?

Lots of ifs. One and.
But no buts.

It will be six months or so until I know if this is the right path for me to take. In the meantime, I actually enjoy relearning math. I actually enjoy adding words to my vocabulary. I actually enjoy the prospect of writing an application essay.

Maybe 46 is the year I begin my doctorate in education. Maybe 46 is the year I learn to crochet or become a yoga instructor of skydive for the first time. 

So many possibilities ahead at the beginning of a year. My 47th year on the planet. Wow. Time to make a mark around here.

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