Thursday, May 28, 2009

What's Your Price?

I've been out of touch from you all for a week now. Seems weird. Heidi's done with school, the kids are all home driving me crazy with the amount of tv they want to watch, and Brad and the two oldest are gone on the pioneer trek. Just me and Ben and Lily and the little boys.

Monday morning I committed a minor sin.
I ate a Milk Dud. Not Milk Duds. A Milk Dud. Ok. It was 8 am, and it was before breakfast. But Brad had left them on the counter, and who can resist?
I chewed a Milk Dud.
I pulled out a sizable gold filling from my lower right back molar from chewing a Milk Dud.
I confessed to Brad that I ate a Milk Dud.
I revealed to Brad the loss of my gold onlay to a Milk Dud.

I called the dentist and revealed the loss of my gold onlay (didn't happen to mention the Milk Dud).
I reinserted the gold onlay following the dentist's orders.

At 5 pm, I swallowed the gold onlay while chewing a granola bar.
I confessed to Brad that I'd swallowed my valuable gold onlay.
For 36 hours, I explored the strange and jagged crevice with my tongue.
For two nights, I dreamed of more teeth cracking and breaking in my mouth. (Do you ever have this dream? I do. Frequently. Note to self: look up what this "crazy, crazy dream means" online.)

I waited until Wednesday morning when the dentist could investigate the damage from the Milk Dud. (Do you think it's funny my dentist is named Dr. Beavers?)
I revealed to the dentist that I'm pregnant yet again, and we discussed treatment options.
I discovered he can't repair the crater until June 4th. But since I am experiencing no pain and very little to no cold sensitivity, it should be fine for a week.

Before leaving the room, Dr. Beavers asked again when I'd swallowed the very valuable gold onlay. Counting on his fingers, he thought for a moment, then hesitantly stated, "If you'd like to use a strainer, that piece of gold is probably worth about $150. It most likely hasn't passed yet."

My question to you:
What's your price?

Epiphany #74--Never eat Milk Duds before breakfast.


  1. Just interpreted my own dream. For information on this discussion, see

    I fall more in the category of being powerless and not in control. Does that surprise any of you?

    The other explanations just don't make sense. Sorry.

  2. Oh, my goodness! Thank you for sharing your trauma -- you brightened a busy, busy day with a really funny story.

    And, I would TOTALLY be getting a strainer for $150 in gold.

  3. Quite a predicament. =)

    Even if I found the valuable gold inlay, I'm not sure I could ever get over its "journey."

    I mean, how much sterilizing could I do???

    Not enough, I'm afraid. Not ever enough.


  4. Hilarious!!! So funny and I can't imagine straining for gold. Can't wait to find out what you do...keep us updated

  5. That is so funny! Please don't tell us if you decide to put that gold back in your mouth. :)

  6. Dream interpretation: YOU ARE PREGNANT!!! Pretty accurate right?? I always had weird dreams when I was pregnant.

    As far as retrieving the gold...tempting...But (no pun intended) I am not sure if I would rummage around for it. Maybe if I looked and saw it sort of on top...I might sort of get it out. I'd hate to be the pawn shop owner getting that one. I guess what he doesn't know won't hurt him. =0

  7. HILARIOUS! I seriously had side cramps from laughing. And to think, over one silly little tiny piece of candy.

    Oh and my apparently is more than $150. Like Sue said, the journey would always be a memory I probably could not forget!

  8. First, I have that dream all the time and am always relieved to wake up to a full set of teeth instead of the nubs of my teeth!

    Second - come on we fished out Brenn's eye. Of course that was about $600 butt still!!

    Logan is not allowed to eat tooties rolls for the same reason!!

    Great post.

  9. First of all, WHY would the dentist tell you to put the onlay back on, as IF it was going to stay there for heavens sake. Secondly, EWWWWW, I think, nay, I KNOW I'd totally pay up the 150 before I'd ever use a poop infested piece of gold in my mouth. I'm just sayin. Milk Duds always scare me for this very reason. It's a crap shoot every time. Oh my gosh, crap shoot, I slay myself! Anyway, good luck with all things gold, toothy and what not.

  10. I would think that one of the perks of enduring the years of law school would be that you would never have to go fishing and digging through toilet remains for $150. Side story - Last year a good friend of mind swallowed her wedding ring. She had it between her teeth while putting on lotion and then coughed. Went to dr. had xray - saw ring - told about 3 days - she was going to be out of town so she had to pack with her gloves, strainer, ziploc baggies. 3 days latter she recovered her ring. It's as shiny as ever.

  11. I think i would be to weirded out to wear the ring again. but if youre not putting the gold back in your mouth why not?! Dr. Beavers is a funny name, that who i want to go to he is my friends dad!