Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Dear Grandma

How do you explain the care of a child that has been yours, that will no longer be yours, to someone to whom he will belong in six days?

What I sent to his visit today:
Dear Grandma,

Angelo’s schedule:
He usually eats lunch between 11:30-12.
Favorite foods: Basically anything. Carrots, broccoli, beets (I know that's weird, but he LVOES them), apples (not the skin), grapes, bananas, macaroni and cheese, peanut butter and jelly, cheese crisps, potatoes, rice, noodles, whatever. He can drink out of a small regular cup if it’s not too full. He loves juice, but if you give him too much it gives him diarrhea.
Around 12-12:30, he’ll go down for a nap, and he doesn’t usually wake up until 2:30-3. He sleeps in a toddler bed with sides, but he also did very well while we were on vacation just sleeping on the floor with a blanket and a pillow. We read a story and sing “Twinkle, twinkle little star,” and then I just walk out. Sometimes he cries for a few minutes, but once he realizes it’s naptime, he settles right down and goes to sleep.
When he wakes up, he likes a cup of juice or milk and a snack, and then he’ll be happy for the rest of the afternoon.

Angelo is a tender-hearted little boy who also happens to be two years old. He loves to play ball, cars, “good guys” (knights or Star Wars), dance, and tickle. He has also developed a love for playing rough—running, chasing, getting caught, and wrestling. He loves to swim--if you hold him. He will write on any surface or himself if given the chance. When frustrated (especially when you can’t understand what he’s saying), he will occasionally hit and even bite. He also will throw a great two-year-old tantrum if things don’t go his way. We usually just take him by the hand to an empty room, leave the door open a crack, and tell him that when he’s done crying he can come out. It usually only takes him a minute or two, then he comes out saying, “I’m done.” He also will throw anything he sees. He also is a little mischievous, and if not watched very closely, he manages to get into anything he’s not supposed to.

His vocabulary:
Gink or dink—drink
Soos—juice or shoes
Gak oo—thank you

If you have any questions or whatever on what he’s saying, write it down, and I’ll try to figure it out. If you need anything else or whatever, send me a note with him or you can call my cell.

What I really wanted to say:
Dear Mary,
I can't express how sad I am to see Angelo be turned over to your care. You stood by and allowed his mother to expose him, his baby sister and his older brother to multiple illegal substances while in utero. Imagine my surprise when the court deemed you more fit than I. But since I have no recourse, here are a few things about him that I'm sure you don't know any more. Add these to the list above.

He doesn't eat junk food 24/7. He actually eats three meals and a snack or two a day. Not cheetoes and soda and McD's.
When he says "hy-um," that's his brother. You don't know? It's the "twin" he's been inseparable from for the last year. Same shoes, same clothes, same room. Sometimes even the same toothbrush. Gross? At least we brushed his teeth. And "Ki-cah?" That's the other brother who hugs him plays "good guys" with him and helps him get his breakfast every morning.
When he shouts "BEAM" that means he wants to sing "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam." Don't know that one? Sorry. Wish I could be there to sing it to him.
When he grabs anything long and skinny and starts poking things with it, he's pretending he's a Jedi. Too bad his big brothers, Tucker and Ben, aren't there to help him demonstrate his skillz.
When he looks and looks for his dad, I hope you can explain to him that he will never have one.
How can he understand that? He's had the best for the last year.
And when he says "Mama," he doesn't mean your daughter. He wants me.

Don't call me with any issues. I thought we had it all pretty much under control here.


  1. Not that we're aggravated at the system or anything...

  2. This both breaks my heart and enrages me. To date, these kind of stories have just been reports I'd hear on the news. They bothered me like crazy THEN. Now that it's happening to you guys...and your poor little guy...I simply can't stand it.

    What's going on in this country? The child's interests should come first. Period.

  3. Yes I have a few of my own, like the 16 year old with a baby in the NICU, (or the 14 year old, or the 17 year old with a 2 year old at home) or the mature 13 year old who is taking home a baby with Prader Willi (ya look it up) to Mexico where he will likely eat himself to death or the 45 year old mom on her 15th child who never comes to see her baby who has been there for 4 months and now it is time to take it home. And that is just the BEGINNING!!! I am so sorry that the system is soooo broken. Especially when there are good mommy and daddys just like you :) And the poor mom who just lost her baby right after she was born. I just don't get it.

  4. Any chance you could switch the letters?

  5. I handled the rest of the posts with a little lump but ok - but this one makes me cry! I feel like the video that Snary Belle posted from Steel Magnolias - I am angry! Mad that this sweet child will be ignored, abused, or whatever else he will not have what you and Brad could have provided including a College education!! GGGRRRRRR!!!!!

  6. You are breaking my heart. You also broke my heart when you sent Heidi to college. Hang in there.

  7. Wow. Jenny, we need to talk. I love you and your family and will always learn from you. Stay strong. love you, Lori

  8. Baby A has a family and a home with you now...and the fact that the government system is working to take him AWAY from that is just plain scary. But I know I don't have to explain that to you. All I can think is, won't it be wonderful at the second coming when things like this WON'T happen. Praying for you, Jenny.

  9. this broke my heart and made me cry, and i don't know you or him, so i imagine your heart is in some kind of godawful place right now.

    i pray that he will be well .

    and i'm sorry for your loss.