Wednesday, September 29, 2010

What Does This Crazy Dream Mean?

Easter Sunday 2009

Last night I had the strangest dream (name that song!) . . .

I dreamed that Baby A and his mom showed up at our house with a case worker.  Just for a visit.
I begged and begged to bring him back to our family.  I told his mom that they could come see him any time, if they would leave him with us.  I cried and held him and then . . . I gave him back to his mom.

Then I woke up.

I've been thinking all morning what this dream must mean.  A's mom was murdered in the desert last spring (to read that post, click here).  A, who is now three years old and has been gone since August 2009, is currently living with his grandmother on the Navajo Reservation (to read that post, click here).  There is no way on God's green earth that the Navajo Nation will allow a white family to permanently keep one of their children.

Does this mean I need to start up foster care again?  Is there another child or children that could benefit from being in our home, even for a short while?  Our license expires in February, and if we let it lapse, then we'd have to start all the certification over.  Won't do that, I can promise you.  Aren't my hands completely full right now, not to mention every waking minute?

Is that why I had a dream?

Maybe I just need to call A's Grandma Mary.  I do have her number . . .



  1. You know the answer to your question Jen. Prayer, you need to pray and seek God's will.

    I love that picture! The three of the look so cute sitting like that.

    ~ Tracy

  2. Times like these are when I am so thankful I have the knowledge of a loving Father who answers prayers. None of us can say what the dream means, or what path your family should take. But when you combine your prayers with those of your husband, He will answer. So happy you won't let that license lapse!! That way, you will be ready if/when the time is right. You will be able to act when He answers your questions. And I'm guessing Grandma Mary would be happy to hear from you.

    Your open heart and love for others is inspiring!!

  3. I think only you know that, Jenny. Good luck with your answer.

  4. Because not every dream has spiritual implications, I tend to agree with Ms. Bake-it. Prayer is the next step. (Not that I need to tell YOU that!) I will say that if you have any feeling of disquiet or discomfort about foster care, I hope you can give yourself permission to take that as an answer. I've noticed that very loving people like yourself sometimes feel like they can't say no unless the answer comes like a brick to the head. ;)

    Putting on my dusty (old) therapist hat, this dream may well be nothing more than another step in your grieving process for Baby A...the final step...that acceptance part that follows true grieving. You wept and wept and wanted him to be with you, but in the end, you gave him back.

    Fortunately, you and your husband know you can receive personal revelation to figure all of these things out. In the meantime, I just want you to know that I think you are an amazing example of being open to the Lord's will in your life.


  5. A) Yes, your plate is full.
    B) Yes, call Mary.

  6. i say mary needs a call.
    perhaps his bio mom is no longer on this earth, but you're still here. so maybe there's something he needs or his grandma needs from one of his moms.
    just sayin'.

    your plate overfloweth! again, just sayin'.

  7. What does your heart tell u? Have u discussed this w/your hubby? As they say one more doesn't really make a difference...yes, it is a shame the Navajo res. won't allow white families to adopt....

  8. Dreams can be so hard to figure out. I think in time you will know just what it all means to you. I am so impressed that a busy Mom of many would have time in her heart to even consider foster care.

  9. I think you should call. The worst thing that can happen is she will hang up on you. I am 1/2 Navajo. My grandma and grandpa were a white LDS couple who adopted all 4 of their children as newborns from the Indian reservation, including my mom :) My mom is Navajo, My uncle is Cherokee, my aunt is shoshone and my other uncle is Ute. I am so thankful for the life that was given to my mom and siblings. I wish the best of luck to you!

  10. i say you call mary.

    i also say you call the foster care folks.

  11. Call the gma - go from there. I wish there was a great answer for all children, where they could live the life they DESERVE!! No such luck and it sucks!

    Love ya,

  12. Dreams are interesting things. I don't know if it is a message or a spiritual thing but I do think that dreams show us what is on our mind, even if we do not consciously recognize it at the time.
    You, obviously love this boy. I am sure you will discover the right path with prayer and thought.

    P.S. I am glad you found my blog again too! :-)

  13. I hate those dreams- the ones where you are left wondering. If it's a message sent during sleep, or just that- a plain old dream. I'm sure you'll come to the right answer at the right time- you're all amazing like that.

  14. Heavy stuff. Prayer is a wonderful thing.

  15. I always overanalyze my dreams and thoughts. I try to think if I am receiving insight and inspiration. But when it comes down to it, prayer is the answer, putting in the work and having faith. I'll be praying for you!

  16. I generally find some kind of tie-in to reality in my dreams too. I think the answer will come to you in terms of what to do about fostering. I love your photo of the kids!

  17. He really was such a sweet, cute little boy. Everytime you show a picture of him, I get a little sad.

    Will be very interested to know what teh "answer" to this will be.

  18. I don't know either you or the situation well enough to say more than what the others have offered. You know what you have to do - you've told us that! - and the guidance you get will give you the answer you need.

  19. One More Day - Diamond Rio "Last night I had a crazy dream. A wish was granted just for me, it could be for anything. I didn't wish for money, or a mansion in Malibu, I simply wished for one more day with you. . .One more day! One more night. One more sunset, I'd be satisfied. I'd hold you every minute and say a million "I love you's". That's what i'd do with one more day with you."

    Call Mary. Speaking from a very recent personal experience, perhaps there's something the cosmos needs you to know that you won't learn unless you make the first move and this is your prompting to make that call..... That's how it happened in my life. And if you aren't quite sure, there's always another call you could make. With Heavenly father there's never a busy signal and he won't hang up.