Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Out of the Funk, Part 2, or How Did This Happen?

I’ve been in a funk, as you are aware. And I’m desperately pulling my way out of the bog. But I have to admit that it’s been difficult to get there.

Since arriving in this funk, I have completely abandoned any semblance of exercise or nutrition. I countered that I was too busy to exercise and I needed the sugar and fat and junk to assuage my fragile mental state. Right?

I was wrong. Somehow, this funk has brought with it fifteen extra pounds. And nothing is more debilitating than lugging around extra weight. Some of you may think, “Stop complaining. I’ll show you FAT.” Fat is relative, isn’t it? Even big people have a skinny weight and a “I hate myself” weight. We all have skinny pants and a skirt we hold onto in the hopes that we’ll get down there once again.

I have recently caught myself looking in the mirror and loathing what I see, but I lack the self-control to change it. The odd thing about it is that I still think of myself as a skinny person, a person that can wear whatever and not think about it. I go to my closet and pull out a pair of pants I wore last summer, attempt to put them on before I realize that my derriere is way too expansive to test the strength of their seams. I keep telling myself: “After Heidi’s baby comes, I’ll face this.” Or “After Tucker leaves” or “After school gets out.” All of these events have come and gone, and I have yet to exercise the self-discipline necessary to change.

I no longer have any excuse. I am home with nothing standing in my way. I’ve complained and cried to Brad about it, and he told me to take it to my great confessor—the blogging world. There, I’ve confessed. And I’m ready to pay the piper.

Heidi and Sam are blessing Miss Ellie Rose on July 3, so here are my goals for the next month:

1. NO fast food.
2. NO sugar
3. Menu planning, focusing on vegies and fruit, limiting but not eliminating carbs.
4. Purposeful, thoughtful eating. No “Just fill me up and make me feel better.”
5. Exercise six days a week. No matter what.

How did this happen? I let it happen. I let my guard down, stopped caring about myself and how what I eat makes me feel later. And I’m fighting. With both fists, and an occasional kick, if necessary.

I’ll keep you posted. You know I will! Wanna join me?

Linking up to Jenny Matlock's H on Alphabe-Thursday.
Jenny Matlock


  1. You my dear have every right to be in a funk. I would be in the exact same place. I have a wedding at about the same time as your sweet little granddaughter's I will join you on this! I need some accountability...big time. I've been using sweets as a little carrot at the end of many a long day. My capris from the last four Summers look bad...real bad. I've been hiding in skirts. Next week? Time to lug the kids to the local swimming quarry. Oh my....Yes, yes, I am doing this!!

  2. I hit this point about 2 months ago... with Daxton's birthday and Anniversary I was seriously eating terribly and at my all time high NOT pregnant. So I myself a personal trainer and I am down 13 pounds! Go me. If you want a referral let me know and I'll get you his number :). You know where to find me. And all that exercising you are doing, I hope you will call on me to join you!

  3. I am with you!
    For me it was "After the wedding", then "After the campout", then "After school is out" - Yeah I could pretty much do this forever!

    P.S. I stopped and got 3 Krispy Kreme donuts tonight - I am eating them as I type - so wrong!

  4. I already have...a week ago.

    And I'm glad for the company!


    PS. Go, us!!

  5. I'll join you, Jen. I've been trying to follow just such a course since May 1st and it is a struggle alone. I don't need to lose tons - but I'm short and every extra pound shows. I too have clothes I'd like to be wearing.
    Keep me posted!

  6. Uh, do you think I could lose 30 pounds by time I have my son's wedding?
    I need to do some serious changes too!

    Uh, by the are gorgeous.

    It's amazing that you're blogging your funk. I usually just bury myslef in twinkies or Big Juds.

  7. I've been there! I'm there now, but since I'm pregnant I'll just do the best I can. I know you can do it! Getting through that first week has always been the biggest challenge to me. One day at a time.

  8. I think I'm with you on this. I've been eating stupid things while waiting for the hubby to come home from Iraq. Well, it's getting close and I'm in a scramble to get the house ready and haven't been paying attention to me. We're looking at having our baby (yes, I had a baby while he was gone too!) blessed the same day as your new granddaughter (although he's a few months older than she is) so I'd love to be a few pounds lighter for that. I went off just sugar for a month last year and lost 10 lbs so I'm crossing my fingers! Thanks for the motivation to do it!

  9. It wasn't too many years ago that I thought nothing of walking three or four miles a day. On weekends we sometimes went on 10K walks. I've exercised most of my adult life until real life got in the way some years back. I know how much better I felt when I exercised. Everything they've ever said about exercise is true. I've started exercising a little at home with Denise Austin, but it's hard getting back in the swing. Good luck!

  10. Freaking weight. The bane of my existence. So irritating that the battle NEVER EVER ends. And you're right, "fat" is totally relative. I'd give anything to be "your" fat. hahaha But, I'm proud of you. Get on it girl and kick some fat butt!

  11. I know how you feel with the funk that weight can cause.

  12. Well Jen I am joining you from afar and for me in the middle of winter it's a battle. A battle as the excuse of - it's too cold to.... - looms large in my mind. After going to the Dr last week, having my weight done and the reality of being at my heaviest ever when not pregnant (nor likely to be) it was time to face up. Your challenge comes at just the right time. I'm with you here, Cath

  13. I'm trying to get back into the gym and I absolutely hate it. I go, I make myself, but I'm not sure how much longer I can do it. I'll team up with you, we can beat this, we can win!

  14. I am all for loving oneself and doing whatever is needed to get to that point. Being healthy is def one way I can love myself. You go girl!!!:)

  15. It must be in the water... or the... internet?? LOL... I too am finally fed up with all my talk of doing it someday, when everything else was done, so I started Monday & so far so good. Well on all but exercise, but I'm ok with that for now. At least for the first month or so:-) I'm totally with you, my entry for this alphabe-thursday even gives you a little fun encouragment for your journey:-)

  16. It seems we all have this battle in one form or another. I'll team up with you too. My goal, 20 pounds! Good luck!

  17. I'm in a similar situation and yes, I'd be happy to join you. :)

  18. whoa - them's fightin' words for sure ... i'm stepping out of your way 'cuz I see flames on the back of your shoes!!

  19. These things happen, don't be too hard on yourself. The main thing is that you have recognised it and are trying to do something about it!!!


  20. And the bike. I forgot her name. Get back on her and go!
    We all get in the funk....good thing is we can get out of it just the same!
    6 days a matter what. I wish I was ambitious enough to join in on that one!

  21. Oh FUNK!!! I use to be skinny too. Even after having seven kids. Then I turned 40....then 50. Then..ok, what I'd like to do is find a Zumba class! Maybe I should start one...hmmm. Oh, what the funk, I'll just be me and love every inch! Course I may be the only one in love... Haha, gotta laugh. Good luck with all this, life's full a changes:)

  22. Thanks, Jen, for this encouragement ... I've gotten so discouraged with my lack of stick-to-it-iveness. There's always something that is stressful and so it's easy to say "after this" or "after that" ... I just need to begin now. And keep beginning now again if I need to.

    Good luck!

  23. These cyles of life can be so discouraging. It sounds like you are ready to tackle the blues...I'm not quite there yet.

    I really liked your candor here today.

    I need to get something going myself...why is it just so much easier to eat poorly and do nothing?

    Thanks for a thoughtful link!


  24. Oh, Jen...It's totally understandable that you're in a funk right now. There's so much going on in your life and so many changes. It's good to hear that you have found a motivation to get back on track though. Good luck on your list of goals! I know that if Miss Ellie could talk, she would definitely cheer you on :)