Saturday, January 4, 2014

Saturday #1

When I was rereading my 2013 posts for Emmy Mom's year in review, I noticed a member of my family noticeably absent from my blog for much of the year.

Me.

Oh I was there writing the posts and taking the pictures, but weeks went by with me hiding from view.

I'm not very comfortable in front of the camera, and I take opportunities to be the photographer and not the photographed whenever the option presents itself. I resolved that this year I would force myself from behind the lens once a week. Not in an indulgent "selfie" kind of way but in a "learning-to-love-my-body" kind of way.
Thin and fat women, tall and short women, black and white women, old and young women have body issues.  One of mine is my feet. I've hated my feet as long as I can remember.  My ugly little hammer toes squish over each other in uncomfortable ways, and no matter how much I concentrate, I can't straighten them out.  I was so self-conscious about them that I refused to wear anything but closed-toe sandals until about fifteen years ago.  Even now, I still think twice when I wear shoes that show my ugly feet.

Yoga focuses on your feet many times during each practice.  You fix your gaze on your feet in some poses and use your feet to ground other poses.  Consciously and frequently, you point or flex your toes, or use your feet to fully relax in savasana.  I have never been able to touch my toes--either from a sitting position or a standing position--ever in my life. When I began yoga last September, my biggest goal was to be able to touch my toes.  Just to graze my fingertips across my toenails would be enough for celebration.

After eighteen months of practice, I can now wrap my hands completely around my feet in a sitting position and I can palm the floor while standing.  Each time I reach for my feet, I still get a little giddy knowing that I have accomplished something small.

Now I love the sight of my feet during my practice, and I'm learning to love them the rest of the day, too.

8 comments:

  1. I loved this post. Your feet are awesome and have carried you to do all the amazing things you do. You inspire me--keep it up, I need all the inspiration I can get. Sheron

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  2. Love ya. I'm still trying to figure out this comment thing, so forgive me if it's weird.

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  3. I have tried to do this too. I'm 52 years old, and I have already gone gray. I am opposed to dying my hair. Others may not like the way I look, but this is who I am. I may not always like the way I look either, but if i never take pictures of myself, my children will not have pictures of me when I'm gone. So I have been trying to not be camera shy, and just accept my body for what it is. It's funny because just this week, as CJane's readers have been coming by my blog to rail on me, a couple of them have made nasty comments about my appearance. I finally told them I thought it was shallow to focus on appearance so much. I meant that. The media today has to manipulate photographs to make them acceptable to the public. But I represent REAL America. I represent millions of other women just like me who are gray, and fat and wrinkled. And perhaps America needs to see more of that.

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  4. I'm totally impressed. I have NEVER been able to touch my toes.

    Good for you for doing a hard thing....like pose in front of the camera.

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  5. CUTE feet btw! Yoga is another of my new adventures and I love it. :) Keep on reaching my friend. Its lovely to see your strength. ::hugs::

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  6. Palms on the floor! Way to go! I can touch the floor, but I can't put my palms down with straight legs.

    Have a great day!

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  7. Great post. And I think learning to love your feet has deeper meaning, don't you?

    =)

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