Monday, February 9, 2009

Temporary Post--Conflicted

This was quite a weekend at the Sanatorium, one that I really don't know how to explain.

Got a call about 11:30 Saturday morning. Four-day-old Baby N was being released from the hospital. Could we take him?
Here is where the conflict begins.
My family specialist was supposed to increase our foster beds from two to three, but I hadn't heard from her. So I didn't know what to say. But how can you say no to a four-day-old baby?

I explained the situation, and the worker said that she would be unable to place him with us.
Baby JC had been turning increasingly violent and aggressive, and he can't understand anything we say. He'd left scratch marks on Hyrum's face and arm, and he would hit you just as soon as look at you.
So, I told the worker that I had been contemplating calling on Monday to have Baby JC removed from the home, but if they were already on the phone, we might as well do it now.
Literally 10 phone calls later, Heidi and I were on our way to North Phoenix to pick up Baby N, with CPS on their way for Baby JC. It was kind of an unconventional situation, but I thought it would all turn out ok.
Around 2, we got home with Baby N, who was born at 34 weeks and weighed 5 lb. 9oz. He was so tiny! Brad says he may have been the ugliest baby he's ever seen, but I didn't think so. The touchy issue was having Baby JC and Baby N in the house at the same time, technically violating our agreement with CPS.
Little did I know what a commotion this would cause.
Two hours later I called CPS, wondering when they would be picking up Baby JC. Then the fur started to fly. They realized their error in actually placing two kids in "one bed," and the CPS manager called me in a rage.
What was I thinking, taking two kids? CPS isn't in the market of just switching out one-year-olds for newborns, she shrieked. I tried to explain to her the situation with Baby JC being too aggressive to stay in the home and that I thought my family specialist had increased my beds, but she wouldn't listen. The choice words that I have for CPS and its level of competence need to remain private. Thirty minutes later, my worker called me back and said that CPS wouldn't listen to any rational thinking, and they would be out to take BOTH boys back into CPS custody.
Never a call from CPS. They just showed up at the door, two hours later, and whisked Baby JC and Baby N away.

In retrospect, I feel awful. I don't know what I should have done differently, but I screwed up.
I feel like I threw Baby JC under the bus, and he really didn't know any better. And Baby N. Wow. He was probably on the fast track to severance and adoption. And he could have been ours.
And I would have been eternally devastated if in my excitement to get a new baby had I jeopardized Baby A. What if they'd taken him too? Have I been blacklisted forever by CPS?
Regret. Guilt. Sorrow. Anger. Will we ever have the kids in our home that I know are supposed to be here forever? When? Sometimes relying on the Lord's timetable is excruciating. Not just sometimes. Almost always. Especially for an impatient sort like me.
On the very small plus side, I guess I got a full night's sleep on Saturday.
Epiphany #35--Don't mess with CPS. No matter how gallant your intentions.


  1. What a rough day!! Somehow I think CPS should be more responsable (sp) THEY called you and you said "yes" to both - all I ever hear is how there is not enough foster homes for all of the kids and you are willing to up your bed count to 3, you get up in the middle of the night to go who knows where to pick up kids...come on can we show a little common sense?

  2. Hey no fair the baby looks cute in those pictures and now I'm a big jerk just because I said he was ugly when he obviously wasn't.

    Well lemme tell you something: notwithstanding my amazing photo-taking abilities, in real life the kid looked like he fell off an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. I'm just saying.

  3. Jenny, I think you are awesome. I once began the process of becoming a Foster Parent, but just couldn't see myself working with that system. As you know I've always been a little against the grain as it is. It is too bad they can't see that their silly rules are what prevent kids from getting the care they need. If you are meant to have will.

  4. Honestly, I have no idea what to say. Unfortunately it seems that sometimes stupidity reigns supreme.

    I don't know you, but I think you are amazing!