Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Unclear of the Etiquette in This Situation

I had a post in my head, all ready to compose for today. But it will have to wait.
Unrelated, but isn't he full of mischief?

What is the blogger's etiquette in the following scenario:

Tucker, Eve, and I were doing a little "get-ready-for-college" shopping at the local mall. I never go to the mall.  Hassle. People.  Expense.  But some situations warrant the nightmare.  I glanced up, and I thought I recognized the young mother with a toddler and a baby in a stroller.  Where did I know her from?  As we got closer, I knew exactly where:  I read her blog.  She doesn't really know me, aside from a few comments of admiration, and as far as I know, she's never visited my blog and has no idea I even exist.  Not that I was starstruck.  I don't really get like that.  I was just unsure of my responsibility.  All of these thoughts were processed in, oh, maybe five seconds.

As we got closer, her toddler son walked in front of my stroller, and she caught his arm and pulled him back, saying, not unkindly, "You need to be careful.  Look, you walked right in front of that baby."  I actually stopped, said, "Oh, that's okay, do you want to see the baby?  Look, she has the same shorts as your sister."   And we proceeded on our way.

It is very unclear to me what was my obligation in this situation.  Should I reveal myself as a reader of her blog?  Would she think I was a stalker, a weirdo, or just an interested fellow blogger?  Would she be flattered?  Surprised?  Annnoyed?

I rarely have a situation where I look back on it and wish I'd reacted a little faster or known what to say, but in retrospect, I think I should have said something.  Now if it had been one of my regular readers who comments occasionally, I would have been excited to meet you in the flesh.  Bought you a pretzel, had a Diet Pepsi and a chat.  But this is someone who is really unfamiliar with me.

What would you have done?  Should I send her a link to this post and say, "Hi, that was me!"?

And who is going to get around to writing blogging rules and etiquette?  Because I think I need to download the book.

Linking up to Alphabe-Thursday.  My Uncertainty brought to you by the letter U.
Jenny Matlock
And if you have missed entering my giveaway, click here.  Comments taken until Sunday night!


blog
post-edit: I just went to Lyndsay's blog and sent her the link. Thanks for the advice.

47 comments:

  1. I would take it as a huge compliment to be recognized. It has happened to me before and it was so fun to meet a reader and know that what I send out to blogland is actually impacting someone.
    So if I ever see you or you ever see me, we are SO gonna blogtalk over a pretzel:)

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  2. Oooo Oooo, I hope you see me someday. I love pretzels and Diet Pepsi! My husband said he met somebody at a meeting today who "reads my blog." "Well. who is it?" I asked incredulously and, "how did she know you were my husband?!"
    Oh yah, perhaps because I post a gazillion pictures of him on my blog! Kinda weird, but kinda cool, right? I'll tell him next time to buy her a pretzel... :)

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  3. I'm with Amy here. I think it would be awesome for someone to say something.

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  4. I think you should definitely have said something! How could she not be glad to meet YOU? (I sure would be...)

    =)

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  5. She would be thrilled to see the face of one of her readers. She would truly enjoy receiving this link!

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  6. I will be thrilled to meet a reader. I would say something to her. I might make her day.

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  7. Definitely send her a message now. I think she'd be thrilled.

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  8. First of all, you're already "getting ready for college shopping"....you are so on the ball!

    How exciting to see someone who's blog you read! I think it would have been okay to say something to her...we blog and put our personal stuff out there for people to read...so it's definately not a private thing! I too would have been thrilled to me YOU!

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  9. I would be tickled pink if someone stopped me to say that they were a reader of my blog! I was fortunate to be able to meet another blogger recently...it was such a delight!

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  10. I would be happy to be recognized, but then again my profile is a pic of a red couch! Joni

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  11. I would also think it was a huge compliment to be recognized. I would definitely send her a message, who knows, maybe she'll want to meet up in the future. I've only met a fellow blogger once, but it was so much fun. I do agree that there needs to be a "blogger etiquette" book. Kathy

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  12. Totally wouuld have told her. Nothing makes me happier than when some completely random people tell me they actually read my blog. It's happened a few times, once in the theatre. Total stranger, said she knew me and Jere from our blog. The only thing I wish then is, they would EVER comment so I knew they were there.

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  13. I probably did the same thing, I couldn't possibly tell someone I know them from the their - it's a very odd situation

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  14. Please talk to me if you see me in the mall. I would love to talk to a woman with so many kids. I have four and wanted six so...RESPECT to you. However, I completely get your dilemma. I had a blogging etiquette question the other day. I think we should write rules. Here is one.....Don't blast my sight over and over with advertising about a charity in the form of a comment....with no mention of the post I made. Butter me up first...ha. How is that for a rule? Someone did that to me 3 times now. I guess it is a robot but I am unsure how to block it. See, we need rules.

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  15. I can see why you were "undecided". I probably would have reacted the same way...I need time to think and then sometimes it's too late! In the future though, I think it would be ok to say hi to a bloggy friend! I think of that every time I am walking through Target...it seems to be a prime bloggy mommy hangout!!:)
    Enjoy the day!
    Love the mischievous picture BTW!!

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  16. ok that sooooo would have been me. do i or don't i? will she think i'm a freak....but then again she's the one posting the pics etc...haha

    and that also would have been soooo me...walked away not saying anything and then kicking myself b/c i didn't!

    i say go ahead and email her b/c the moment passes and she doesn't remember!!! then let us know!

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  17. I'd have been paralyzed by the same uncertainty - but I've now met three bloggers - one from as far away as Peru - and I haven't had a bad experience...in face, we have a lot in common!

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  18. Oh absolutely leave a comment on her blog and have her read this post. I would be flattered, but I can see where you aren't sure how to approach the situation.
    All the other comments seem to agree. I would be surprised if she didn't accept the situation in a positive way.

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  19. I love to meet my readers, especially if they kiss both my cheeks in the european fashion and give me a tall stack of cash...but I'm still waiting for that to happen.

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  20. I would say hello but I speak to anyone anytime any place

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  21. i'd have said hello, but hey, you can next time you see her :D

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  22. the blogosphere is so strange like that.

    it reminds me of many in radio. people don't quite know how to treat ya when they realize who you are.

    if no one says anything, then that's ok, every lives their merry little life and all's well. no feathers ruffled in the least.

    if someone would come up at an event or even the grocery store either after seeing the websites or being at a previous event and intro'd themselves that was ok too.

    there were even times when listeners would call in like on a monday & would say they'd seen me out with my family or whatever over the weekend, and then say "remember this part? yeah that was me."--totally copacetic.

    coming right up though and acting like we'd been life long chums was awkward. and it happened, sometimes too much. i think that's why i have a shy approach to new people, places, and things. have to feel it all out first before i can relax. this day & age you can't be too careful. not that you're a stalker or that she was of you, but there are those types out there.

    a blogger-bump-into is a different scenario than a blogger-meet, for sure!

    definitely the comment on her blog, i think, was the right way to go. very smooth, benign, safe for both parties. this way, who knows? perhaps ya'll can pretzel it up another time now! =)

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  23. That has happened in reverse to me (shocking I know because I have a lame blog) at first I am weirded out just a little, my mind goes back to what I just posted (69 letter) but then I am tickled pink that someone I don't know and doesn't comment actually takes the time to see what I have to say or what is going on in my little slice of life.

    SO in the future just speak up - I am surprised you didn't blurt it out - I guess we are getting more mature! Hee Hee

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  24. I think i would have had the same doubts ... but totally send her a message ...

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  25. I would probably just kind of walk on..I'm a little shy in real life...
    LOL

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  26. Hmmm... I would have said "HI!" but I'm not too shy. Unless it involves my yearly pap smear. Then I am all kinds of reticent.

    Let me ask you this?

    What would you have done if it was reversed? Would you have frightened or flattered? I think I would go with how I would feel.

    And, hey, how come nobody says hi to me when I go to the mall like that?

    Oh. I know why. Because I never, ever, ever go to the mall.

    However, if you see a fluffy woman walking determinedly with blue nordic walking sticks and a lime green i-pod it is probably me...and don't say hi. Because I will be all kinds of embarrassed of my sweaty red face and the fact that I wear socks under my Keans!

    What a fun stop and a fun question!

    I'm curious to see what you would do.

    Thanks for linking up!

    A+

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  27. If I had been the one that you recognized,and you said...I read your blog, it would have thrilled me! I would buy you a pretzel and diet Pepsi! i love how I have made so many blog friends. Maybe you should e-mail her and say that you saw her!

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  28. Next time that happens, say something. I'm sure she would have been thrilled. Great U post and it will make me more aware in case I run into someone lol.

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  29. If you had seen me and recognized me, I would have been a little taken back. At first. Then hugely flattered.

    But it would be hard for me to go up to someone and tell them. What if they thought I was some kind of bloggy-stalker? So I understand your reticence.

    Hope to see you sometime!! (But not at the mall - unless its a weekday and not in the summer because you are right. Too. Many. Friggin. People!)

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  30. It would have been AWESOME if you had called her son by name! "Yeah, Borneaz, watch out for my baby!"

    And, considering your burgeoning follower list, I am sure she reads you as well. (Provo sisters, watch out!) ;)

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  31. I know I would have been excited and flattered to meet someone who reads - and comments - on my blog. So yes, you should say something. I think she'd be happy you did. But maybe disappointed that she missed out on the Diet Pepsi and pretzel.
    I do the same kind of second guessing though. It makes me kind of mad when I miss out on something I would have enjoyed because of it. My rule: don't let inhibitions keep you from doing anything that would lead to a great experience or memory.(Thanks to my sister in law for that one.)

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  32. I want to run into you some where, could it be a pretzel and Dr. Pepper? I think that the etiquette should be to always tell someone that you enjoy their blog. There's nothing like being complimented by a total stranger. Something to add to my prayers...run into Jen and have a pretzel and Dr. Pepper.

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  33. oh I would hope that you would say hi to me! I'd give you a big hug!!!

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  34. I would feel like a rock star if someone said - hey! Hi Kristin! Send her a note and say hi!
    Have a pretty night,
    Kristin

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  35. Jen, stop with the post-bumping into beating. A lesson learned here for sure. In a mall, I'd have gone blank too. I know if you'd introduced yourself to me, I'd have been wowed. Just know she's close by makes it likely this'll happen again. Then you can do what feels right at the time.

    This U came straight from your heart and for that I love it so much.

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  36. Wow, if you had met me in real life and told me that you read my blog, I would have been so happy and excited I'd take you out for some ice cream :) I think if I met you in real life and you didn't know who I was, I'd still be excited but probably too shy to tell you who I was. I highly doubt we'd ever casually run into each other given how far apart we live but if we ever do, I hope we can go out for some ice cream!

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  37. That's really funny! I would feel two ways...1-if I was the blogger I'd be so flattered and amazed that anyone read my blog (besides you that is!) And, 2-if I was in your position I'd feel exactly the same way! I almost asked a lady yesterday at a swim meet if she had a blog, I could have sworn I've read about her family! And Quinn made friends at school with the son of a local lady whose blog I love, but I haven't said a word to the mom! So lame, I know!! Can't wait to see what you do next time.

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  38. So, what did she say after you commented on her blog with the link?

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  39. I totally would have said something and had I not I would have pounced over and left her message later maybe even suggesting a coffee or park meet up! How fun!

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  40. Aaaaaah! That is so great! You totally should have said something. And thanks for saying that I didn't grab Finn's arm unkindly. Ha! It was the end of a VERY long "mall experience." And I had done a lot of tugging him out of the way of danger. Anyhoo, I thought it was so cute that you commented that our girls had the same shorts on. I honestly thought that it was so nice that you stopped and were friendly even for a very short moment. I don't often get that experience in LA, unfortunately. Nice to know we exchanged a little hello, even if I didn't know you were a blog reader! :) Plus your baby was darling!

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  41. Hi!
    I just wanted you to know that I passed on an Honest Scrap blog award.

    Susie

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  42. I wouldve been flattered....what a cool meeting!

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  43. I would think quite cool to meet a fellow blogger, especially while out in public like that...you probably looked nice, she probably looked nice. it would have been on neutral ground and quite casual. The pretzel would have been the perfect extra!!

    Susan

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  44. I found your blog from Sarah - Clover Lane...isn't she the best?! I love your blog and...the same thing happened to me. I saw a blogger I read but don't comment on. Looking back I wish I would have said something. I have started leaving comments on her blog and she leaves comments on mine. I have met a lot of blogging ladies in person and love them!!! Blogging is so fun♥

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