Sunday, June 30, 2013

ContrACTions

I'm like the universe; either expanding or contrACTing at any given moment. 
--Sean Astin


On July first last summer, I was living my life-long dream of catching fireflies and spending weeks away from civilization in rural northeastern Pennsylvania.
Just seeing this little grey house bathed in the sunset of our first Wyalusing sunset fills me with waves of joy.  It was a summer I will never forget--a summer of profound lessons and once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

Since I had no big adventure planned for this summer, I purposely filled my days with kid activities and experiences, hoping to make this summer memorable on its own.

I will be the first to admit--summer has been hard on this schedule-driven girl.

Scratch that.

June has been hard on this schedule-driven girl.

Days have been overloaded with piano practicing and school work and chores and driving from swim team and yoga and dentist appointments and play practice and basketball camp and dive team and swim meets and friends' houses and movies

and back home again.

Oh.  And Tucker and Karli got engaged.  Forgot that small, time-consuming detail.
My house has been a wreck most days. Kids have gone days without proper bedtimes or proper meals or proper baths (pools count, right?).

Amidst all this bustle and pandemonium, something important has been neglected.  Someone important.

Me.

The mom.

June has made me more aware of a few things about myself.

  • I need my schedule--my schedule, not a kids' schedule that pre-empts mine five and six times every day. I need my schedule like lions in the zoo know when it's feeding time or like workers in a factory know what time the shift whistle blows. 
  • When this schedule is interrupted or irregular, I get lost in the sea of chaos. I lose those things in life that make me me.  I've gotten behind in my scripture study and prayers.  I've neglected my laundry (sorely neglected) and taken too many naps from staying up too late.  There has been no time for home organizing or home redecorating or even home straightening. My camera hasn't left its bag for days on end.
  • As I have buried myself deeper and deeper into my kids' lives and activities, I have lost sight of my goal to ACT.  I have seen my progress contract from where I was just a month ago.  My patience level has decreased and my laziness had increased. I have found no time to serve others or focus on their needs.

Lucky for me, the busy segment of our summer is over.

As of July first, dive team and swim team are over.  Swimming lessons are finished.  Aida is done.  No more basketball camp.

We have some time that is just us--our family--with no outside distractions to derail us.  Boredom may set in.  Kids might get stir crazy, but I do know that July will be good for one person.

Me.

I hope to regain the ground I've lost in June.  Refocus my soul on what I know is important. Reposition myself to ACT--live purposely, act not react, and serve others.

July is a fresh slate.  A new start.  The last month of summer before school starts.

Here's to lists and chores and organization and purpose.

Here's to July.


4 comments:

  1. I was minding my own
    Business, scrolling thru the old Facebook when my heart stopped for a moment, there it was, my grandpas house, in my beloved wyalusing! Ahhhhhh, what a great pic! Thanks for that. Oh, and I'm
    There with ya, here is to a great July, full of order. I'm hoping to finish a home project, or 12.

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  2. It sounds like summer is off to - well - a great start! They can't all be like last summer, but there will be moments....

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  3. Can't wait to spend part of July with you!

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  4. this is a whole new ball game for me, and while i am just at the starting gate and the very tip of the ice burg i'm feelin ya. we finished swimming lessons on monday, dance has been over for a month and won't start until the end of aug with school, we are GLADLY going on vacation, hopefully not with foot and mouth as i have been ranting about all day, and we've kept the friends chaos at bay. i have been trying to go to bed earlier this week, but today i've just lost all of the wind in my sails, and it's just a fresh breath of air to read that it might in fact be normal to feel this way in the middle of july:) it's funny how june elicits complete chaos, and it's so great, and then all of a sudden it's not great anymore and you need something familiar, like bedtimes and routine. i'm not saying i'm ready for school to start b/c lord knows i don't even know how brennan is going to get to school by 8:15am when it does, but i'm ready for something else than the chaos that june was. i've been itching all week to get on vacation to break it all up, send us home for one big holiday, and then hit august with something a little different than before. it's the shifting of summer and i'm ready.

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