Saying Goodbye Was Harder Than I Expected

I remember the first investment piece I bought. I was twelve years old.

I had a grand vision for my bedroom, but my budget was pretty limited--babysitting in the early 80s didn't pay nearly what it pays today. I knew I had to keep my brown dresser (which I liked) and my orange bookshelf (which I didn't). In those days before Pinterest and Amazon.com, Kmart was my go-to inspiration place, mostly because I could ride my bike there if I got permission. While roaming the aisles one day, I found it--a 100% polyester full-size bedspread, printed with brown and yellow flowers on a white synthetic-shiny background. This would be just the thing to tie together all of my stuff. I couldn't wait to get it home, make my bed in the fancy way--pillows under the bedspread and tucked carefully around to emphasize their place at the head of the bed, with a small blue flannel pillow in the center made by my brother to fulfill the dual purpose of Christmas gift and scouting requirement. I was proud. It was beautiful.

I have made do with hand-me-down pieces and thrift store finds most of my life, but I will never forget the first real investment pieces we bought for our family--twin tan chenille couches with matching sets of navy and red throw pillows. We were struggling with infertility at the time, and I was desperate for something to fill the void in my life. Between the time we ordered them and the day they were delivered, I had discovered that I was pregnant with Lily Jane. It was a good day.

Those two Rowe couches survived everything. Three different houses--one room was barn red, one was butter yellow, and the third a handpicked greige in our dream home. So many different decorating schemes. I don't know how many combinations of throw pillows have lived shorter lives than these couches. Boys jumping and wrestling and building forts. The couches weathered my traditional, shabby chic, and transitional moods with ease. I never tired of their classic lines, their color, or their fabric. Even after sixteen years of the hardest use furniture could be expected to withstand, that upholstery looked great. The pieces did rattle when moved around--pens, pencils, Legos, Goldfish, errant coins, and small toys had found entrance but no escape from the dark recesses inside.

Two years ago, Brad was wrestling with Ben and when the two of them landed on the couch, the frame broke. That couch was placed on the curb and quickly found a new home somewhere in the Valley of the Sun. I didn't think much of it then.

I held onto its twin as long as I could. On occasion, I would long for a new couch, but when I looked for a replacement, I never found anything I liked better. 

Then, it happened. 

Sometime in June, the frame of the remaining couch also buckled under the extreme living conditions that are the Denton Sanatorium.

I don't know who or how or what, but the couch was no longer salvageable. Every time visitors would sit on it, I would warn them that the middle would suck them in and escape would be difficult. Some took my warnings to heart, others tempted fate and learned the ugly truth for themselves as they grunted, struggled, then begged for assistance to stand. I told Brad that it really was time to replace the couch, and he balked for a few months, traveled around Asia for a while, thought about it some more, until I finally convinced him that it was time. A new couch was ordered, and we waited.

But it wasn't easy taking that couch to the curb. When the kids left for school on the day of delivery, I told them a new couch would come while they were gone. Hyrum, panic on his face, asked, "What are you going to do with this couch? I LOVE this couch!" I told him I was giving it away, and that offended him. Deeply. "Mom, you should AT LEAST sell it! Like for $50. It's worth a lot."

Didn't know he had such an attachment to the couch, because $50 in his eyes is a ton of money.

I could hardly look as it sat there on the curb, one arm cover lost and the other naked and lonely, begging someone to take it home and love it. I felt like I was giving away something precious--not one of my children, more like a beloved family pet. Instead of leaving it there alone on the curb, rejected and dejected, I pinned a sign to its shoulder, like a mom sitting at the grocery store surrounded by melancholy children and a cardboard box full of mewing kittens:

FREE to a good home

Sixteen years of our family room memories centered around that couch. The perfect napping couch. The perfect nursing couch. The perfect story-reading couch. The perfect snuggling couch. The perfect TV watching couch. The perfect fort-building couch. The perfect scripture reading couch. The perfect family couch.

I left the couch on the curb and returned a few hours later.

It was gone.

Denton Day at the IDEA Museum

These past two Thursdays have been extraordinarily busy around here, and I haven't put as much thought into our Denton Days as I wish I could have. In fact, on one Thursday I told the kids as they walked in the door from school that I didn't have anything planned, and they could do whatever they wanted. Their reactions surprised me.

"Really? Whatever we want? On a Thursday? Well, ok, I guess."

With very limited time to venture far, we headed to the i.d.e.a. museum.

The main hall was closed to update the revolving exhibit, and neither Eve nor I had worn socks (new rule to use Artville--and I wasn't quiet about my displeasure on learning that after we arrived at the museum), so we were restricted to the main art room. I thought they would be bored and ready to leave quickly, but I was wrong. Only a few other people were there, so they could spend as much time on projects as they wanted.

Eve was able to see how the soundscape room really works--since only her movements were inside the dome, she controlled the symphony.

Micah spent most of our hour at this computer, making short still movies of the Avengers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. A few smaller kids huddled around him and gave suggestions for how they wanted the story to develop.

Hyrum is my creator. He loves to make stuff out of garbage, and this exhibit was perfect for him. He was frustrated that the supplies weren't strong enough to support his ideas, but if you look next to his chest, he has the first two towers of Hogwarts started from toilet paper rolls and egg carton cups.

Eve made the striped heart glasses on the face to her right, and I made the candy cane striped glasses she's wearing.

Next time we come to this museum, we will allot more time--and wear socks. But I don't think the kids would have had any more fun even if we had had more time or worn socks.

Lesson for Mom: Denton Day is serious business for them. They want to spend time together--with me--and they don't care if it's grand and exciting. They actually like it.

I've got a good idea for this week . . . 

Homecoming Weekend

 It was homecoming weekend at Lily's school, and I was asked to help with a lunch-hour Fear Factor activity.

First challenge--two kids from each class ate a pizza as fast as they could. Lily volunteered for that assignment (she's in navy).

 But the juniors beat them out.

Next challenge was marshmallow stuffing--blindfolded.

And the final challenge--one member of each class volunteered to consume an entire Happy Meal (burger, fries, apples, and chocolate milk) that had been pureed.

 Yeah. It was as nasty as it sounds.

Only two kids managed to get the entire thing down, and there was much gagging and choking in the process. Ew.

The kids had a great time, and I was glad I got to help.

Later that day, some of her friends came over for a quick dinner before attending the JV and Varsity football games. One of her friends allowed Lily to apply henna (from her trip to India) around his arm.

 Don't think I would have been that brave.

Why they all ended up on the floor, I don't know . . .

JV played their sister school (Heritage Gateway), whose principal is the former head coach at Heritage Mesa (he was Ben's coach). It was a competitive game, with both sides wanting to take that victory. I've missed using my cool lens to take pics at football games, so I pulled it out.

One of Lily's friends took two really hard hits, and after the game was over and he was examined by a doctor, he was diagnosed with a concussion and bruised ribs.

They played hard, but the other team had one really good drive and ended up winning 14-6. Heartbreaker. Varsity made up for it with a 66-0 win.

Man, I've missed high school football. Made me miss Ben even more, watching the game and being in the stands.

What is it about high school football that I just love?

Where Has Lily Been?

I love blogging for many reasons, one of the most important being the history it creates of my family. I love scrolling back through my posts from a few years back and remembering little moments that would have disappeared from my memory had I not recorded them here--funny things kids say and do, family vacations, mothering successes and failures.

That said, a fine line exists between sharing the antics of the Sanatorium and my kids' privacy to share or not share their own stories. When they're younger, I draw the line more liberally, but as they get older, I try to respect their space, their room to make mistakes or try new things without it being  . . . "on the blog."

Lily has reached that place where her appearances on Denton Sanatorium are less frequent than they used to be.

Wow, I love this girl and the person she is becoming. She weathered the transition to a new high school well and found a great group of friends that she adores. More homework, harder classes--and balancing that against hanging out with friends, football games, and a few precious hours of sleep each night. You remember your sophomore year of high school, right?

She auditioned for "The Secret Garden" at MCC on a last-minute whim. (I snuck this picture of her during her audition.) Her voice has been weird for a few weeks now (I think it's because she's been screaming too much at football games and the like, but what do I know?), and she was nervous. When she stood up to introduce herself, her voice cracked and that shook her confidence a bit. One younger kid sitting behind her quietly said (but loud enough for her to hear), "Now watch. She'll be amazing." After she sang a few lines of "For Good" from Wicked, she turned to sit down and that same kid leaned back over to the same friend and said, "See. Told you." That made her feel better.

Almost as good as she felt when she read the cast list and discovered she will be part of the ensemble.

My Lily Jane.

Love that girl. Love the drama and excitement and joy and sadness and everything she brings to our family.

Last Official Day of Summer

The last day of summer gifted us with the most breathtaking clouds ever to dance an Arizona sky.

Meteorologists had predicted we would receive 3+ inches of rain blown up from tropical storms in the south, but nothing more than a few sprinkles ever materialized. All day the sky shifted from spun sugar to marshmallows to ephemeral bolls usually reserved for cotton fields.

Just as the little kids returned the chicken/scrap bucket to the kitchen counter and placed two washed eggs in the fridge, a few drops started to fall. Before long, our gutters were rushing, and our pool level began to rise.

Arizona kids love monsoon storms. My kids watch for them and hope for them and wish for them almost as much as they watch for Christmas and shiny packages under the tree. These spectacular gifts are fleeting, and we never know how long the rain will last. With dinner quickly blessed (with added gratitude for the storm's percussion in the background), food was shoveled and barely tasted, and swimsuits were donned.

It was a gully washer.

I couldn't let the moment pass without pulling out my camera. That isn't noise in the photos.

The water quickly filled gutters and spilled over onto sidewalks and lawns. Hyrum and Eve ran and splashed and shivered and floated soda can boats in races through the rivers.

Monsoon season ends about the time Fall begins. Fall is a loose term used here in the desert--temps possibly below 100 during the afternoon and deliciously below 70 in the morning.

Summer went out like a lion--blustering and drenching the desert with one last celebration.

Fall may not bring tons of turning leaves and crunchy apples, but that won't stop me from my favorite part of Fall.

Boots.

It's almost time for an official Boot Day. I'm ready.

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

Why does little boy hair look just fine, just fine, just fine, then suddenly loses all control and looks like a tribble from the original Star Trek?

And why does it always happen on picture day?

Today is picture day at school. And my boys' hair looked like this:

 And like this:

 I knew last night was my last chance to do something about it before school today, so I sent Hyrum upstairs for my clippers and scissors as I positioned the chair near an outlet on the easily swept wood floor. He grabbed a pool towel (best coverage of bare chests, arms, and legs), got as comfortable as he could on a hard chair wrapped in a towel, and I turned on the clippers.

Nothing.

Are you serious?

Now what?

Brad brought down the groomer he bought last fall when he grew out his beard (cutting of the beard post here), and I attempted to cut thick, overgrown heads of hair with a not-completely-charged rechargeable beard trimmer.

It took almost 20 minutes per head, but we reached an acceptable level of completion.

 This morning was filled with "Who's shirt is this?" "That's MY shirt!" "Which shoes should I wear?" "Do these shorts match?" "Can I wear my silver bow?" curling irons and steam irons, gel, mousse, and hair spray. Throw in a 7 am orthodontist appointment for Micah, two sessions of piano practice, scripture reading and family prayer, scrambled eggs and toast, and four filled lunch boxes.

That was our morning.

I know the school's photographer won't see what I did this morning before 7:30.

Whew. Glad that's not our routine every morning!

Slacking on the Job

Does the Tooth Fairy's route seem to miss your house on occasion as well as ours? I think I need to call her office and alert her boss.

Hyrum lost a tooth at school last week, and he was excited about it--wasn't loose one minute, and the next it was in his hand.

Fast forward to two mornings later, and things were a little rough around here. Kids were tired, chores weren't getting done, piano practicing didn't go smoothly. Hyrum sat at the end of the bar, sulking. When I asked him if he was still upset about piano practice, he started to cry, a reaction that exceeded what I was expecting. Tears? Over practicing?

He shrugged his small shoulders and cried, "I have to practice after school, but that's not all. THE TOOTH FAIRY DIDN'T COME . . . AGAIN!"

I don't know where that fairy had been hiding, but her lack of responsibility was irking me.

"Maybe you didn't put your tooth where she normally looks?" No.

At this moment, Micah walked into the kitchen and added his two cents.

"I have had a tooth in the little box on my shelf for weeks, and she's never touched it."

Now I was mad at that little fairy. Brad got into the conversation after catching my eye over they boys' heads.

"Could you leave a note for her? Maybe that would help."

Maybe. If that lazy fairy even takes time to read.

The boys agreed that this would be their next approach. At bedtime that night, just as they were headed up to their beds, both boys scrambled for pencils and paper. When I passed their door an hour later, this is what I saw.

These notes and their handwriting may need a little translation.

"Dear tooth fairy,

Will you please have my tooth for ten dollars. That's how much I need.

Sincerely, Hyrum"

The tooth fairy has never dug as deep as $10 around this house. He must have his eye on more Pokemon cards, judging from the amount requested.

Micah's note was illustrated with a picture of her, captioned, "Don't forget to floss!"

"Thank you for all of the times you rewarded me for things that people think are gross. I am so glad you do all of this for me. I wish I could see you but I know the rules and it's OK! Thank you."

Next morning the boys skipped downstairs, each holding eight quarters and smiling.

I wonder if the Tooth Fairy is getting a little bit older and a little more forgetful and may require handwritten requests on bedroom doors forevermore.

Best of the Best--Labor Day Images

I saved my favorite images from our Labor Day weekend for a post all their own. Each is a favorite for a different reason.

Do you remember those times when you hung out with your cousins and the rest of the world disappeared? It was one of those weekends.

This may be my favorite image from the whole weekend. This shows you the scale of that cave. It was unbelievable.

I wish Thomas was looking at the camera in this shot, but the sweaty hair rimming his face tells an Arizona story.

Another image of the bridge, with my niece sporting her ASU shirt. New freshman, school spirit, weekend away from WiFi and homework--she was a little stressed, but she still took time to play with her family.

This image--can you spot two of my nephews? Love this shot.

This series of photos tells a great story. Dinner set on the counter, waiting for the tower of tiles to fall. I love every expression on every face. If you look closely, you can see Nancy's sneaky pinch to Brad's armpit as the photos progress.

I love this family of mine. I love spending time with them.

And it's exhausting, especially for the little ones. Eve had to be separated from all of the other cousins on the last night because she was completely worn out. She needed to sleep. She's at least three years younger than the next cousin (Hyrum), and she tries to do everything they do. She found a few moments of peace alone on my bed while the rest celebrated our last night together.

Here is Brad's view of the weekend.

First of many family gatherings. Can't wait to make more.

Labor Day

Labor Day was our first chance go gather extended family at the cabin. One of Brad's sisters came down from Utah and one came up from the valley--I think there were 17 of us altogether.

When I dreamed of building a cabin, my dreams centered around finding ways to make memories as a family. And we made memories that weekend.

While we were unloading food, we discovered that the freezer had been open just a tiny bit, and it was filled with snow. Greg began emptying it out and de-snowifying everything. When Eve realized there was snow involved, she dug in to help. Good thing, too, because she was small enough to crawl into the freezer and reach the very back.

Saturday morning was beautiful for AZ in September--a little cloudy to take the edge off the sun, and not too hot (around 80). We rallied everyone together and took a hike to Tonto Natural Bridge, about ten minutes south of our property.

 These two developed a pretty cute bond over the long weekend. Tyler is the second of four brothers, and I think he enjoyed being around a little girl for a change.

 He looked out for her and helped her and played with her . . .

 . . . and she wrapped him around her finger.

The path to the bridge is pretty difficult, but these boys took every opportunity to climb rocks . . .

. . . and play in the water. Here they had found a bunch of crawdads and water skippers, all of which were too fast to be caught, much to Hyrum's disappointment.

 "Brad!" I think I surprised him a little.

 Can you believe this is Arizona? There are a few places like this here, and when you visit them, it's like traveling to a different world.

 A world with freely running springs and no cactus.

This isn't the best picture, but I loved Payson's face. Everyone had a great time hiking down to the bridge.

 Isn't is amazing?

 Pictures cannot do the size of this bridge justice. In this photo, we were still 50 feet from the entrance.

 Can you see Hyrum?

 Looking at the bridge from the opposite side.

 The hike out is never as fun as the hike in, is it? The south side of the bridge quickly reverts to desert--prickly pear, scrub juniper, and lots and lots of little rocks. The kids were hot and grumpy by this time. I caught this moment when we told them that we hadn't hauled lunch with us but that they would have to hike out in order to eat. Rum was not too happy about that news.

 The weather was beautiful. Lily and her cousin chose my favorite place at the cabin to sleep every night. One night, a deer walked past them a few times and startled them pretty good.

Lily used her handy flashlight to scare it away, but it kept coming back. I think it was finding yummy tidbits left behind by all the kids.

 Light rain fell Sunday morning for a little while, and the kids wandered around, enjoying the cool and the rain and the beauty.

We did have church that morning, but the little boys got impatient while waiting for everyone to get ready. Here they all are in their white shirts, ties and Sunday pants, taking turns shooting cans with the BB gun.

On Sunday afternoon, I looked around at everyone there. Small groups were playing games, trying to assemble the world's hardest 1000-piece puzzle, catching big bugs and moths outside, looking for snacks in the kitchen, and the house was filled with commotion and laughter. At that moment, I recognized the beginning of many memories made here as our family.

And I was happy.